How to talk about sexuality and your role as a Soft Paris Advisor to your children?
Aside from distributing happiness through our fantastic products, we also have a role and responsibility to educate the public. When we’re a Mum (which is the case with 60.4% of our Advisors), there’s a big chance that our little loves might fall upon our Pink Suitcase. This might prove difficult at times, but our response is integral to our children’s education. So how do we talk about sexuality with our children?
Learning and accepting sexuality – from infants to adolescents
As explained by Soft Paris sexology partner, Alain Héril, a child will go through several phases of understanding and accepting sexuality. From 3 to 4 years, your child will understand that there is a gender difference between boys and girls and will develop a curiousity for anatomy. What you need to do: insist that neither sex is ‘better’ than the other and never create opposition between the sexes. This is not obvious to a little boy or little girl, as our anatomy is different: sex is more visible in little boys than little girls. We often hear that little boys have something “more” and little girls have something “less”. However, if you speak in simple terms, you will quickly establish that there are no taboos on this subject.
When children begin to discover their own intimate parts, you need to tell them nicely and delicately that it’s something personal, to keep in the privacy of their own room. It’s not something to examine in public, or under the gaze of adults, but it’s normal to want to do it and to do it. This will help your child develop a sense of privacy.
From 5 to 8 years, your child will experience a relatively desexualised period, more orientated on the general discovery of their body. A need for privacy will be more obvious, noteably when they close the door whilst visiting the bathroom. What you need to do: respect this intimate space as it is vital to the psychological construction of your child.
During pre-adolescence and adolescence, your child will try to understand the idea of sex. What you need to do: do not force them to talk about it, but do give them a symbolic message: “if you want to talk about sexuality, then I’m here”. Remember, no one wants to imagine their parent’s sex life. It’s the same for your child. Also remind your child that each person has the right to say yes or no.
A simple answer
Up to age 8, although your child will be very curious, it is rare that they will ask you questions about the products that you will have in your pink suitcase. If your child aks you that question, make sure to have an answer prepared that uses language suitable for their age. Don’t avoid the question, even if it embarasses you, express your answer in simple terms, without going in to the details that would be pointles.
There is no pre-set formula on how to talk about sex with your child. Everyone is different, it often depends on the education that you receieved. Just remember to use a vocabulary suitable for the age of your child, whilst remaining simple. You can of course share your tips on the subject at your Soft Paris parties.